Friday, May 15, 2015


this journey started, not four years ago today, but rather almost ten years ago. it started as simply having a shared office space with summer colleagues. these colleagues blossomed into friends. one friend in particular was always a bit special. he always made my heart flutter and my stomach dance. even when i wasn't always in tune to it. i tend to wear my emotions on my face, and whether i liked it or not, it was very apparent to him how i felt.

the summer came and went with nothing more than butterflies and weak knees. several months went by that lead to many random interactions with this sweet soul. it wasn't until december that we actually were able to spend time together.

our journey together began at a hockey game. this memory can only be described as one of the sweetest memories i'll ever have. i was so consumed by this person, that i was seemingly unaware of the things around me. i took in everything about him. his beautiful hair. his gorgeous smile. how tall and muscular he was. his warmth. he made me laugh and i felt comfortable around him instantly.

for it was this night i knew.

i knew i had met the man that i was going to marry.

four years ago today, i married that man. our special day was so thoughtful, intimate, relaxed, simple, and so much freaking fun! there is not much [if anything] i would change about our wedding day. i loved doing the "first look" before the ceremony to spend a quiet few moments with my life-long sweetie. i loved the ceremony on the beach [including the dog!]. i loved the "secret" moments with our bridal party. i loved the all night dancing and photobooth. and i especially loved ending the night by jumping in the pool!!!

i really could go on all day about why this day was so awesome. keith and i committed our lives to each other in front of the people we love most in the world and then celebrated that with a kick-ass party. what's not to love about that? our wedding day [and week] will always be so special and memorable to us. simply reminiscing about it makes me smile.

it makes my heart flutter. it makes my stomach dance.

all those feelings that started ten years ago, they are still a part of the magic today. those feelings of love, happiness, joy and excitement are why our special day is so magical. they are why our journey together is so damn awesome.

and now, some wedding pictures. there are a bunch of kissing pictures. [sorry. not sorry.]

doesn't this dog look a bit like our newest family member? so wild.

happy anniversary, keith. i love you more than you'll ever know. thank you for sharing this life with me. i love who we are individually, but i love who are together even more. i love every bit of wild and crazy adventure. i wouldn't have any other way.

all my love,

and today is just a little bit more magical than a regular old, smelly anniversary. it is 5.15.15. and if you remember, we got married at 5:15pm. so, today, our day is just little extra special because it is all 5's and 15's. so, let's toast to 5.15.15 at 5:15pm. because this will never happen again in our lifetime. pretty amazing stuff, huh?


Wednesday, April 29, 2015



i almost don't want to write about baltimore. i almost want to wait until emotions, fires, and violence simmer down before i share mine. why stir the pot?

but after reading articles about the pure madness that has encapuslated that city, i want to make my voice heard too.
my goal is not create more anger. if i do, then i have not served my purpose. i have not met my end goal.

the riots in baltimore begin on the day of the funeral for freddie gray. prior to freddie's funeral there were protests surrounding the cause of his arrest and death. 
there have been numerous men shot and killed by police. there have been numerous criminals killed because they were running from police officers. there have also been numerous police officers who have used excessive force on criminals.

the public issue comes down to discrimination and racial injustice. i get that and understand it. what i do not understand how rioting in YOUR OWN COMMUNITY is a productive means to an end.
many of the rioters are upset. mad. angry. they want change. they want their voices to be heard. they want to be treated fairly.


we all deserve, no matter how different we are from each other, basic civil rights. by definition a civil right is an enforceable right or privilege, which if interfered with by another gives rise to an action for injury. examples of civil rights are freedom of speech, press, and assembly; the right to vote; freedom from involuntary servitude; and the right to equality in public places [cite: cornell law school].

however, we all face discrimination or injustice, whether it be racial, social, gender, and/or sexual. it is a way of life. many say it shouldn't be, but it always has been and probably always will be. we are not all created equal. we just aren't. we are not meant to be. it wouldn't make sense if all people were exactly the same and came from the same places. the same hair, build, height, brilliance, had the same health status, eye color, and the same family.

[survival of the fittest]

how can we navigate this social world with all of our vast social, race, sexual....differences? we must teach our children [and each other] compassion, kindness, acceptance and tolerance. we are meant to look different, talk different, and come from different cultures.

if we continue to breed hate and fight against our natural differences, we will never be able to come together to give everyone equal and basic civil rights. 

burning down your own community out of anger, frustration, or perceived injustice is no way to solve the problem. stealing from your neighbor isn't going to resolve the issue. injuring those whose job it is to protect and serve your community isn't going to keep you safe. i know that i will never fully understand the "mob mentality" and what makes individuals decide riots are the answer. i just can't wrap my head around what the end goal is to a riot, street violence, and structure fires.


what do you hope to achieve? someone has to come out on top.

in every case of riots, it is not the rioters.

so again....WHY?

if it is nothing else other than to be heard, WHY?

the violence in ferguson and baltimore disgust me. i am hurt, saddened, and angered by it. i have so many things that i wish my voice was heard about. do i burn my house [or worse, someone else's house] down because of it? NO. do i throw bricks at the people who are there to protect me? HELL NO. [in most cases, you go to jail if you do those things.]

in order to have your voice heard and to have meaningful change, it has to be just that. your voice and actions must be meaningful. if you throw a fit, act a fool, or throw a tantrum, no one takes your requests seriously. and a riot is basically all of those things, rolled into one and multiplied by insanity.

it's ridiculous.

i know i come from a different view point than the rioters and the subculture they live in. but i cannot sympathize with any group of people who condone violence as a way to get their message out to the world.

this song has been in my head all day. it is about the LA riots in 1992. today is the 23rd anniversary. not much has changed. from any side of the story.

(I don't know if you can, but can you get an order for Ons, that's O-N-S,
Junior Market, the address is 1934 East Anaheim, all the windows are
busted out, and it's like a free for all here,
and uh, the owner should maybe come down here and see if he can secure his business,
if he wants to)

April 26th, 1992
There was a riot on streets
Tell me where were you?
You were sittin' home watchin' your TV
While I was participating in some anarchy
First spot we hit it was my liquor store
I finally got all that alcohol I can't afford
With red lights flashin', time to retire
And then we turned that liquor store into a structure fire
Next stop we hit, it was the music shop,
It only took one brick to make the window drop
Finally we got our own P.A.
Where do you think I got this guitar that you're hearing today?

("Call fire and tell them respond local station out to meet us at Anaheim. It's uh, flaming up good." "10-4 Alamidos at Anaheim")

When we returned to the pad to unload everything
It dawned on me that I need new home furnishings
So once again we filled the van until it was full
Since that day my livin' room's been much more comfortable
'Cause everybody in the hood has had it up to here
It's getting harder, and harder, and harder each and every year
Some kids went in a store with their mother
I saw her when she came out she was gettin' some Pampers
They said it was for the black man
They said it was for the Mexican
And not for the white man
But if you look at the streets, it wasn't about Rodney King
In this fucked-up situation and these fucked-up police
It's about comin' up and stayin' on top
And screamin' 1-8-7 on a mother fuckin' cop
It's not in the paper, it's on the wall
National guard
Smoke from all around

(Units, units be advised of an attempted 211 to arrest now at 938 Temple, 9-3-8 Temple,
thirty subjects with bats trying to get inside the CP's house...he thinks out there trying to kill him)

'Cause as long as I'm alive, I'ma live illegal

Let it burn
Wanna let it burn, wanna let it burn
Wanna wanna let it burn
(I feel insanity)
Riots on the streets of Miami
Whoa, riots on the streets of Chicago
On the streets of Long Beach
In San Francisco
Riots on the streets of Kansas City
Tuskaloosa, Alabama
Cleveland, Ohio
Fountain Valley, Paramount, Victorville
Eugene, Oregon
Eureka, California
Santa Barbara
Winnemucca, Nevada
Phoenix, Arizona
San Diego
Lakeland, Florida
fuckin' 29 Palms

(Any unit to assist Frank-74, Willow at Caspian... structure fire and numerous subjects looting)
(10-15 to get rid of this looter)

-sublime, april 29, 1992

in my heart i know there is more we can do as a country, as states, as cities and towns, and as communities. if we want to move on from our past, we have to be willing to work together to move forward - together. we can't do this alone or individually. we must do it together. it is the only way we will be successful.

we must start with love.

it always starts with love.



Sunday, March 15, 2015

what's meant to be, is meant to be.

i read something awhile ago that resonated with me. the article spoke about how human nature is to look for patterns in things. we tend to relate things to other things that really don't have anything to do with each other. or we try to find meaning in things that have no meaning at all. i think this struck a cord with me because i read this after shortly after layla passed away. and, as most of you know, also shortly after layla died, we adopted denali. as hard as we tried not to, we related a lot of things denali does to her.

her sweetness. her desire to be loved. her lean. her sass. her need for snuggles. her dominating personality. her gimpy leg.

the signs all pointed to "she was meant to be." and i don't doubt it for a minute, but we attributed it to her similarities to layla, not her own "denaliness". but we try our hardest not to. because she is denali. not layla. we also know we chose her for other reasons.

to save her. to complete our home. companionship. love.

as much as she is different from layla, because she is an independent and stubborn lady, she will forever remind us of her. her adoption date will always be near layla's passing date. her leg issues will always be a reminder of layla's end of life struggles. her sweetness, love, and zest will always remind us of our peppy and happy girl.

and as much as we try not to make up patterns and try not to relate her to layla. i find that it is ok that we do. denali helped this grieving house. she did not replace layla, no other dog ever could, but she did help complete our family again. she brought life back into our home. she brings energy, craziness, and excitement.

as much as i try to separate denali from layla, it's tough. just today i was setting up her microchip information that that i finally received. the rescue organization had input some information to her online profile. so, when i logged on it had her name, birth date, etc. it was exciting to see her birth date on there because we have always been kind of unsure of the exactly date.

do you know who she shares a birthday with?


if this isn't a fucking sign, i don't know what is. she was definitely meant for us.


Friday, March 13, 2015

life's lemons

hello and happy friday!

i often do not try to write about the "boring" details of our every day life. i certainly want to share our world with you, but my goal is to share the things that make it special - whether those things are amazing, ridiculous, challenging or heartbreaking. but the every day, whereas it is special in its own way, i am certain you do not care that i pay bills, walk my dogs and go to the gym.

yet, i haven't written in a while. that is because our every day has been extra busy. we are moving. life has been consumed by packing our home away. actually today, and this weekend were supposed to be moving weekend.

but it no longer is.

our home that we are moving into had a pipe freeze, then burst, which flooded the entire home. naturally the clean up and remodel process has taken longer than anticipated. they hope to have it completed in two weeks. i really want to be upset by all of this. but mostly, i am just sad. i am so excited to move into our new home. it is bigger, has a yard for our sweet pups, and in a nice neighborhood. and this enormous maintenance issue is really no one's fault. so who could i even be mad at? who could i blame? there is no use is being upset. we now just have more time to pack away our final items, clean out cabinets, touch up walls and do anything else at our current home.

plus, our weekend is now WIDE open. we are free as a bird. we can enjoy some beautiful spring-like weather and play outside.

when life hands you lemons, there is no use in being angry or throwing them back at life. use them to make sweet lemonade. you often can't change what has happened, you can only make a plan and move forward.

this plumbing failure at our new home really sucks. however, it was beyond our control. furthermore, i am so glad it happened while the home was vacant. no one's possessions were ruined. and even if we are delayed, now we will move in to a an even more beautiful home.

so, instead of "enjoying" our weekend moving into a new home, we are going to enjoy our suddenly free weekend playing.

life is always an adventure. enjoy the ride.


Saturday, February 14, 2015

valentine's day: where did it begin?

so, today is valentine's day.

i notice that a lot of people tend to respond to valentine's day with a scrooge like attitude. i love you everyday, i don't need a special day to remind me. [umm, anniversary, anyone?] i don't need someone telling me when i should love you. it's a hallmark holiday. 

the origins of valentine's day dates back almost 2000 years. so, i'd say it is far from a hallmark holiday. the stories of how valentine's day truly originates does conflict. some say it was rooted in an ancient roman festival, lupercalia, in which young men would strip naked and slap women with dog or goat skin to increase fertility. some say there were several christian st. valentines that were martyrs. all in the name of love. one valentine married young men when it was outlawed due to war. single young men were entered into the draft whereas married men were not. valentine found this unfair to love and married young men in secret. another valentine was jailed when he fell in love with the warden's daughter. he would send her love notes signed "your valentine." both valentines were eventually killed.
and over the centuries the holiday has changed and evolved to sending love notes, cards, and gifts. it is celebrated all over the world.

the origins are forever uncertain, but one thing remains true - valentine's day is a day of love.

what truly is wrong with a day of love? some say they do not require a reminder of days to love. collectively, as humans, i think we do. i think we need more than one day a year to remind us to love each other. to fill this world with compassion. kindness. affection.
our world is filled with so much hate. so much intolerance. so much greed. so much violence.
days of love would kill anyone. [seriously.]

imagine if we filled our world with days, weeks, months of love. imagine if we bred love. compassion. tolerance. acceptance. patience. hope. imagine how peaceful our world could be? imagine if we loved first? can you imagine how amazing that would feel....

a day of love, not only for our significant others, but for our neighbors, strangers, friends, enemies; is essential to our survival. loving those around us makes this world a sweeter place. it makes it a safer place.

the feelings of love are far better than the feelings of the alternative. celebrating love - any love, is always worth celebrating. we do need constant reminders to love. to love each other and support each other, especially in a world filled with so much negativity.

i love love. celebrating it and living it is a magnificent way to live. love should always win.

i love all of you and hope you enjoy this beautiful day of love!


happy valentine's day!


valentine's day history source:
day of love - complex origins

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

life's little moments

last weekend was nothing out of the ordinary. other than it was exceptional.

sharing with you the "things" we did will show that it was in fact, regular and just as i said, nothing special. at least, not at face value. here is a small piece of what made the weekend amazing.

the husband + friends went to a regularly schedule hockey game. while we were there, we noticed that after hockey games on friday and saturday nights, the arena has a dance club + full service bar open to all who attended the game. we thought, "hell yeah! let's check that shit out."

so we did. it was everything an arena dance club could be. it was a regular conference room divided by partitions. you know, every club needs partitions. there was a strobe-ish light. the music was fantastic. all of your favorite songs completely club remixed. any song, from any decade, club style. we danced our faces off. it was a sight to be seen.

we let loose and did not care who tuned into our dance show. after all, if the 9-years-olds could boogie down, so could we. we laughed, sweated, and neglected to take any pictures. the time spent at the arena dance club was pure joy. moments that were not lost on any of us. we were completely absorbed in this novel experience that was just so much damn fun. it didn't hurt that so many songs of our youth were played. blackstreet, anyone?

any moment that is shared with people i love in moments that make me lose track of time and bring me true happiness, i'll repeat that shit. every single day.

and that is how last weekend felt. ALL of it. extraordinary. exceptional.


Sunday, January 18, 2015

the flu and you

so, the flu has over taken my home and workplace. keith and i both have it, the other teacher in my classroom has it, and countless children have been out of school with it. plus, who knows how many of them have it undiagnosed. being sick with the flu is a whole new level of sick. it's not something you can manage to struggle through a of work with [very well]. it makes you feel delirious. sensory perception is wayyyyy off. not to mention body aches and fatigues, to name a few. so, i'd like to share with you guys our journey with the flu. listed below are some of the things we've experienced, and it's not even over yet. flu, get on up outta here!


extreme sleeping. sleeping 40 of 48 hours has become the norm. 

sleep has now become a full-time job. this is because we are so exhausted we can hardly move. keeping our eyes open truly is work. 

food is no longer a priority. it all is disgusting. saltines and soup. that's it, if at all. however, if i could get an IV drip of fluids, i'd be in heaven. I'M SO THRISTY. 

a shower after 3 days without one feels magical. 

heating up tea, then forgetting about it leads to the ceramic tea pot bursting. thanks flu, for increasing my scatterbrainedness. as if i needed that. 

creating a swimming pool in your bed because you sweated ALL NIGHT LONG because your fever finally broke. yay! but now all the sheets, blankets, everything must be thrown out.

still sleeping in separate beds because one of us is still way sicker than the other. 

life with a puppy is now truly the most exhausting life ever. JUST LET ME SLEEP. 

binge watching on netflix has a whole new meaning. i started watching "hard time", a nat geo documentary. i was half way through it before i realized it is five years old. whatever. and then highly disappointed when the series ended after only six shows. SIX. what am i to watch now?! that is no binge watching...six shows. pssshh.

activity of the day: making kale soup, which was literally the easily thing to do. ingredients, get them and throw them in a pot. and done. this activity was also the most exhausting. 

did i mention the exhaustion? 

thinking you are on the mend and then the flu just laughs in your face.

deciding to go to work only because you haven't been all week. you go because you feel "you should" not really because "you can".

your spouse shows concern about the amount of weight you've lost. you know, because now you are so thin you look sickly. thanks, flu!

snot, phlegm, hacking, clogged head [just to name a few] have become accepted as part of the daily routine.

new household uniform: PAJAMAS and HOODIES with a blanket in tow.

i am happy to say, we are on the mend [finally!], and only minor symptoms are hanging around [stuffy head, fatigue]. i was fortunate to have a "mild" case of the flu, but i saw it's true effects on keith and my co-workers and i wouldn't wish that on anyone.

stay healthy this winter!!