Monday, December 22, 2014

rest sweetly now, layla

our lives changed forever on december 1.

it has taken me three weeks to even think about writing about this. as most of you already know, our sweet layla passed away.

it is difficult to describe the emotions that come with making a life ending medical decision for an animal you have shared your life with for 12 years.

heart broken.

we knew it was the best thing to do for her. based on the condition of her rapidly deteriorating legs, the vet determined she probably had a nerve and/or bone cancer. she was surprised layla's shoulder had not popped out of its socket yet.

there was nothing for us to do to save her.

it was only going to get worse.

she was living [and dying] in pain.

the hardest part about losing a pet is that they have become a part of your family. they are a part of your life. you have come to love and cherish them. you plan vacations around them [or including] them. they are a part of your day. you teach them things as they teach you things. you snuggle and play together. they make you happy.

animals teach us [or remind us] of compassion. loyalty. LOVE. wanting to please. happiness. pure joy. running and playing JUST BECAUSE. how to properly greet someone [slopping wet kisses, of course]. comfort. LOVE.

layla was all of these things. and so much more. she and i have lived in countless homes [eight...i think], been on even more trips and car rides. she's had many doggie friends [and doggie non-friends]. she was a prissy lady who was in charge. she was obedient, yet stubborn. she never met a human she didn't like [after all, they were going to love on her and give her pets - her all time favorite]. she was easily excited and always in the mix.

she shared everything with us. laughter. tears. joy. sickness. successes. loss. struggles. celebrations. she was there for it all. she was always by our side. she supported us as much as we did for her.

stanley laying with layla when she was really sick. what sweetness.

the more pets we have, the more i have learned that they just want to love and be loved.
and it hurts my heart that i can't love on her. ever again.

as much as it hurts every bit of my heart to lose my girl, sharing her life, well, i wouldn't trade it for anything.

12 years. so much happens in 12 years. i am so lucky to have had layla during such a challenging, chaotic and wonderful time in my life.
often times she was the only thing that was consistent. her loyalty and compassion never wavered. no matter what i was going through. she saw some pretty rough and dark days. she was always my shining light.

she was always there. to love. and be loved.

love your animals and your humans. i had 12 amazing years with my sweet dog. but often times we aren't granted so much time. we are never promised tomorrow. so hug your family and friends, sweetly squish your pets, and let them all that you love them.

because they love you too. as do i. thank you all for your love, support and compassion now and always. we can't thank you enough for being the amazing people that you are.

perhaps this wasn't the best pre-christmas post ever, but it was time for me to get out of my heart and head and down on "paper".

lots and lots and lot of love to you all.

happy holidays and merry christmas to everyone!


1 comment:

Jaxon said...

I remember being so mad at you when you got Layla. I felt like you could barely take care of yourself, much less a dog. But as it turned out I think it was one of the best things you ever did. You mentioned dark days with her, and I think she helped you through those dark days into the bright days you have now. It broke my heart to see her at Thanksgiving. So god please Layla and I thank her for the 12 years she gave us all.