Tuesday, September 13, 2011

september 11...it's not what you think.

september 11, 2001.
i remember where i was. what i was doing. and where i was heading. when i heard.
ten years ago i was a student at nc state. yes, a student. and i am still a student, well, kinda. like i've said, i am a professional student.
i was in a small computer lab in this one hall that is actually divided into three separate halls (winston, caldwell and thompkins). the internet was barely off it's feet back in 2001, so who knows why i was in the computer lab because i know i wasn't doing school work. anyway, it was a small lab so it was typically quiet, but this day there was a buzz about the computer lab. i remember thinking "what's with all this ruckus?" someone said something about a plane hitting one of the trade towers. i was like "WHAT?" i quickly turned to my computer and attempted to get on the internet. again, a dinosaur was probably running the internet. i bet the university still had dial up. so, of course, every website i went to would not load. AHHH! so frustrating. i finally got to some random news site and sure enough there was....a headline of the world trade center being hit.

immediately, i knew i had to get out of that computer lab. i had also forgotten why i was even there. i logged out and ran out the main entrance, which opened up onto hillsborough st. i felt lost. i didn't know where to go. i was seeking more information. but had no way to get to it. i was stuck on campus. sheesh. i saw my friend brian. we exchanged fuzzy words about what had happened. i remember asking him "where can we go?" he remembered that mitch's tavern has TVs. and that they'd probably be open this early. since you know, it was like 9-10am.

we ran up to mitch's. we were the only one's there. minus the local drunk. brian had just turned 21 the week before. he ordered a beer. i was only 20. i got no such beer. i wanted one. or 11. i can't remember how long we sat up there just starring at the tv. it was like watching the worst horror movie you could ever imagine.

two days ago marked the ten year anniversary. it's been ten years. and for some reason this year was harder to watch. seeing the memorial footage on tv was almost unbearable. and i have no clue why. america is finally to a point of rebuilding and moving on to make this country a better and safer place. why was this year so painful.
was it because that there are now physical memorials that serve as memorials but yet as graves too?

or is it because september 11th is also a very personal and painful day for us? keith's best friend TC was killed in a bike/car accident 11 years ago. september 11, 2000. TC feels like a person that i do know. and he feels like a person that i wish i got the opportunity to meet. he feels like a person that watches over us. i know he's there, i just wish he wasn't so far away.

we have to continue to make greatness out of such pain and sadness. we will continue to overcome. united we stand.
and TC, we will see you soon. but not soon enough. love and miss you.

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