Tuesday, January 12, 2010

a first....again

its a new year. so a time for new things.
well, sort of.

i drove today for the first time. in over a year. ALONE.
it was scary. i was nervous. i was excited. i hated it. i can't wait to do it again. and i never want to do it again.

before today the most i have drive is two minutes across the street to pick up keith from campus. i don't drive because a little over a year ago i had a seizure. and even though i live my life how i want and free of fear, having a seizure while i am driving has become one of my biggest fears. right up there with drowning. yes, i have a fear of drowning.

i had an 8am class. it was across town. so that meant either leaving the house 1 hour and 15 minutes before class started and catching two different buses to get there OR driving and being able to leave 30 minutes before class started.
for now, i have opted for the latter.

as much as driving frightens me, it gave me back a sense of independence. i felt like "hey, i can go do anything i want, whenever i want now! i am a driving woman!!"
now, i know it seems silly or perhaps that being able to drive is not that big of a deal because there are other ways to get around. but it is a big deal. to me. i have confidence in myself again to drive. and to be comfortable. to know my limits.
for at least 20 minutes behind the wheel.

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