i am a lot more sensitive than i think. or would like to be. sometimes.
its not like i cry about everything. or whatever.
but its when i try to be "tough" or "hard" or "forget about" things or people or issues that frustrate me or piss me off or that i am just tired of dealing with over and over again.
well, i can't be tough, or hard or forget about....forever.
i am good at it for a little while. but its like a part of me is saying "that's not you."
i want everything with everyone in my life to be good. great. wonderful.
and there are always going to be people in your life that you don't agree with. that you don't see eye to eye with. that seem to never make sense. that are so far stuck up there own ass they can't see anything else.
but when they are missing from your life, well, you miss them.
i know that i am too happy-go-lucky to spend my life worrying about petty bullshit. i never have done it and i never will.
and some think that means that i don't care. or that makes me selfish. but the fact of the matter is this: life is too short to sweat the small stuff. you only get one shot at this life. so, i live it up. i let things go. i enjoy every moment.
people wonder why and how i don't remember things, events, conversations. in the grand scheme of LIFE. its really not that important. sure, i remember in high school that my best friend, ashley, and i snuck out of her parents house all the time. do i remember why or where we went? not really. but i do remember that we had fun. and if we could do it all again, we probably would. that is what is worth remembering.
i also remember this time i was in the grocery store with my parents. i was about 4 years old. i pointed out to my father, very loudly, that the lady in front of us was fat. he was so mortified by my comment (and he probably didn't want me to elaborate any further) that he slapped me. i never said anything like that in public again.
what you take away from a story or an experience is what is worth remembering. not every, painful detail of what happened.
what is the point of living in the past? or not letting go of the past? or bringing up the past?
the past is the past.
it helps no one.
you lived it. you learned from it. and if you didn't, well, you will repeat it. and then maybe you'll learn from it.
you know, its my life. i want as many people as my little life will hold in it.
and who wouldn't want to be a part of something great and ridiculous?!