Tuesday, September 9, 2014

ray rice

ray rice.

where to start. i have so many emotions, thoughts, concerns, questions. if you don't live under a rock, you have heard by now, that TMZ released the video of him TKO-ing his now wife. and shortly thereafter he was released by the ravens and indefinitely banned by the NFL.
i think both of those were appropriate responses.

i didn't watch the video. i didn't want to. i didn't want to see domestic violence in its most brutal form. the description was enough for me. but then...EPSN so kindly shared the video during halftime of monday night football. i was so caught off guard, i couldn't look away. i hate you, EPSN.
however, having watched the video, just reinforced how awful the attack was. whatever the altercation was about, whatever started their argument, whatever led to the pushing and eventual left hook by ray rice - well, it doesn't matter. he had so many other options other than PUNCHING OUT HIS WIFE. if punching something was what he felt he needed to do, there were four walls to chose from. pick one.
what engaged me about the entire thing is that this is a person he cares about, supposedly. and he knocked her seemingly unconscious. who the fuck does that?! i mean, let's talk about that for a minute. think of the maddest you have ever been at a person. a person you care for - wife. mom. brother. friend. husband. sister. dad. aunt. whoever.
have they ever made so mad that you wanted to knock them unconscious? that you wanted to hit them so hard you quite literally knocked their lights out? sure, we've all wanted to punch someone before, but to the point of sleepy-time? would that make you feel better to know that you now need to take them to the ER?
i mean, fuck!
seriously guys, who does that? more importantly, who thinks that is OK? who thinks that hitting someone that fucking hard is acceptable behavior? ever. even if you are split-second angry. even if you are "lost your shit" angry. how is it an appropriate response? since when is giving your wife a concussion the right way to end an argument?
because once you gather yourself, regret consumes you. "what the hell did i just do?" consumes you. when it comes to your relationships, if you feel the need to hurt the people you are involved with there is either something wrong with you, them, or a combination of you together. so, the best solution is to let that relationship go.
hurt, physical and/or emotion, is not worth it.

i am not trying to preach advice. i am simply stating what should be obvious. but, we as emotional beings, have a hard time letting go of things we know we should.

today, janay defended her man via instagram. i guess, as she should. she was the one who decided to marry him. some suggest it was for money. some suggest that she can't find her way out of this troubled and abusive relationship. some may suggest that they really do care for and love each other. i have no idea why she did. on the surface, i think she is crazy. because i know if i was with a guy who knocked me out, there would be no wedding date, there would only be a court date.

she does say some things that shed light to the other side of the story - it is their life, we don't understand how it affects them, she mentions unwanted opinions from the public and media, having to relive something they regret, blah blah blah.
the thing is - they live in the eyes of the public. forever and always. it comes with being a professional athlete. if she didn't want any of the things mentioned above, then she shouldn't have dated and married a famous person. good or bad, the public is always going to offer their opinion on the matter. it is just the way of it. we always have something to say. ray rice could have been the best running back in the league, and someone would have something to say about it. it just comes with the territory. it doesn't matter what the issue is at hand, if you live in the view of the public, they are going to have "words of wisdom" for you. if janay didn't want the public involved in her life, then she shouldn't have chosen such a public lifestyle.
dealing with this incident specifically, if she wants to blame the public for ruining their life [which is ridiculous], then she should reconsider where she wants to have her arguments with her husband. because if they are going to have knockdown, drag-out fights [quite literally], then they should not have them in public places that have surveillance cameras and possible witnesses, like casinos.

at the end of the day, it is her and ray's life. but they both must evaluate and understand the life they have chosen. all of the things they have, they have chosen. everything that is happening to them is because of decisions they made. no one else. all of this is happening because of two, well, ultimately one person.

ray rice.

had he not punched the shit out of his wife, they would not be where they are today.


No comments: