DALLAS: what is america coming to?

MY HEART HURTS.

the past couple of days in america have been gut-wrenching. last night in dallas threw me over the edge. because unfortuately, with the amount of violence that is so prevalent in america, you become desensitized to it.

hearing about another attack on civilians, in a night club, at a traffic stop, in a movie theater...it seems normal and expected.
i am not saying those things are right. it is just normal america. we are attacking each other. for some reason or another.

but last night, the cops, the very men who are there to protect us, were killed. BY SNIPERS. as protests were ending, SNIPERS took out police. five. five men died who were their to protect others lives. it is the deadliest police attack since 9/11.

THIS IS INSANE.

america really needs to get out of it's own head for a few minutes. we are slowly killing this country. literally. are guns and racism really what's best for america?

all the lives lost due to violence is unnecessary. working against each is viciously isn't going to solve the problems we have. if this keeps happening, and it will, america will be at war with itself.

the social injustice, lack of meaningful progress and change, and brutality are our reality and our norms. if we are to survive, it's got to stop. we've got to make some changes.

i am not saying that gun reform is the only answer. it's part of the solution. but our issues and problems are rooted so much deeper than that. we need some heavy social reform too. tolerance. acceptance. LOVE.

LOVE > hate

hug your loved ones tight today. enjoy your day. let's make progress tomorrow.

xoxo,
ks

coming out: "wired wrong"

i really thought about not sharing this blog with you guys. it is deeply personal and the issue hits home. it is important to me, and this is also very emotionally charged about current social issues. so, with that said, reader, beware!



have you guys ever heard of my drunk kitchen? you haven't?! well you should stop reading this and go watch an episode. or 10. go on. GO. i'll wait.

.....

so. how was it? i mean, other than amazing, of course.

the creator of my drunk kitchen, hannah hart, has grown into this huge internet community. she does weekly videos that include advice, music, book clubs, traveling, among other things. she also has another youtube channel, yourharto, which is much more personal. on this channel she has an entire series about her coming out story. it was so moving i watched all 6 videos in one sitting.

each person's coming out story is deeply personal. it is a struggle between your current reality and what you actually want your life to be. there were a couple of things she said that almost moved me to tears. what i want to focus on today is when she decided to come out to her family.

so, hannah had finally decided to come out to her family. but what you must know is that her parents are very religious. so when she came out to her dad, this was his response: within his religious belief, her dad believes that sexuality is a part of your make up. however, it is your choice whether or not you choose to act on it. so basically he told her that she could choose to never let herself fall in love because she is wired wrong.

"no one is wired wrong."

i just rewatched that video and i am just as stunned as i was the first time. i am truly at a loss for words. [it is the CH. 5 video of the coming out series. at the 3-min mark is where she talks about her dad.]

.....

ok...here we go.

typically when two people [or sometimes just one] have a child, it is out of desire. a child is wanted and is something, as parents, you created. you nurture this baby and care for it. deciding to become a parent is a BIG deal. even if the baby was a "whoopsie", and you are unsure about having a child, there is time to make decisions about keeping the baby or allowing another family to love and raise the child.

so. you have decided to have a child. you love your child. you raise it. provide for it. teach them. and all the while, you learn that having a kid is hard. they do amazing things, but they also do things that anger you. frustrate you. disappoint you. hurt you.

you realize that your baby, your child, has developed their own ideals. morals. their own way of life. and some of those things are the same as yours, but some are very different.

no matter what you have gone through with your child, they are still your child. and you still love them. the love for a child is the purest, most unconditional love there is.

this is why i simply cannot understand why parents are so willing to abandon, disown and write-off their own children because they are gay. your child has always been gay. they simply did not realize it until a certain point in their life because the way our society is. just like heterosexuals have always been straight. it is just an easier process for them to figure out because it is "mainstream".

we are who we are. and we love who we love.

it hurts every bit of my heart to hear about parents walking out on their children. because they are gay. because they have figured out a huge piece of their identity. simply because it is different from the "norm" and doesn't fit "religious beliefs". if you can't accept every piece of your child - good, bad, straight, gay - then don't have a kid.

kids are messy. kids are difficult. you never know what they are going to throw at you. as a parent, you must think of every possible thing that could happen: diseases, developmental disorders, drug abuse, being an asshole, running away, being an exceptional athlete, academically gifted, being in a band, involvement with gangs, anything!

never say,"that won't happen to my kid." you never know. you must be ready for all life will hand you. if you can't handle it and be supportive of the LIFE YOU CREATED, then don't create one.

it is ok if your child's identity is different from yours. it is alright if your lifestyle doesn't mesh with theirs. you don't have to agree with every decision your kid will make. just be there and be supportive. as a parent should be. walking away is the absolute worst thing you could do. you signed up to love them forever, no matter what. love doesn't always equal agreement, but it does equal support, caring, and commitment.


xoxo,
ks

more poop.

as i was walking the dogs last night, a not-so-friendly neighbor decided to engage in a not-so-friendly conversation with me. perhaps you remember a previous blog regarding dog poop. it was the same old man wanting to give me his opinion on, ask he likes to say, dog shit.

let me give you the run down. layla had just pooped. i had just picked it up, as i always do. and we were on our way. i faintly hear someone talking behind me. i turn around and see this man. i think "oh crap. here we go again." he goes onto to tell me that we both have big dogs [thanks for stating the obvious] and he doesn't let his dog shit in other people's yards and doesn't want to have to walk through shit to walk his dog. i kindly showed him the bag of poop i was holding and informed him that i picked up my dog's poop. he seemed shocked, said, "oh. well, thank you." and that was the end of it. it was as if he thought he had caught me leaving poop and when i shoved it in his face, he didn't have anything else to say.

i should give this guy a few suggestions for dealing with his issues with dog shit.

1. if you don't want to walk through dog shit, don't step in it.
2. we live in a townhome community, so technically the yard my dog pooped in was mine.
3. if you want people to actually listen to your message, try not to be a dick.
4. if sharing space with your neighbors and their dogs is too much for you, move out.
5. above all, dog shit is a part of having a dog. so be a responsible owner, pick up your shit and stop crying about it.

i am so frustrated with this person. who does he think he is? this is the second time he has attempted to berate me about my dogs. i clean up after them. every time. i can't speak to the rest of the community because there is a lot of poop laying around, but that isn't my fault. and by being an asshole [to me and possibly others] will not motivate anyone to start [or continue] picking up after their dogs. today when my dogs pooped, i wanted to pick it up and take it to his door step.

i want to handle this situation so that this person doesn't continue to treat me and my neighbors poorly. how would you handle this? what would you do next?


oh poop.

xoxo,
ks

holiday

we just returned home from a wonderful fourth-of-july vacation in southport, nc. it was one of those vacations where time went by too fast and it made us realize that we don't get to do it often enough. [le sigh]

on the 4th, we did what any good american would do, we had a cookout. we grilled burgers, hotdogs, and chicken. we had potato salad and coleslaw. it was a good 'ole american barbeque. and of course, we had beer. after we ate, we watched and listened to the fireworks. it was a great day spent with family.

the rest of the weekend we enjoyed the sites and sounds of the coast. we got out on the lake [kayaking and paddle boating]. orso even took his first paddle boat ride. he was a little nervous at first. after all we were trying to force him into this wobbly object. but once we got moving and he felt the breezes on his face, he loved it!

orso's first paddle boat ride. such a happy boy!

layla enjoyed the lake too. she was busy turtle watching ;)

after a semi-lazy day on friday [hanging out on lake], we headed out to hops for dinner. it is an american gastropub. i got the fried-egg BLT and keith had the cuban. we both enjoyed our meals. the beer selection was pretty decent too. they have a large draught selection along with a bottled beer selection. so, if you are a beer snob [which we can be], this is the place for you.
after dinner we went to airlie gardens for their summer concert series [keith's brother works there]. it was a fairly cool night, so it was enjoyable to sit outside, have a glass of wine and listen to some music. we also walked around the gardens a little bit. it is absolutely beautiful.

our sweet nephew, henry, enjoying the lawn concert :)

airlie oak.

US. [love]

the crowd.

the water. ahhh.

on saturday we spent the day in downtown wilmington with some friends of ours, matt and nick. they were kind enough to show us around to some of the local spots [that we had never been to before]. we ate lunch at one of [our] favorite places front street brewery. from there we headed on to a couple of other local bars [cape fear beer and wine; duck and dive]. it was another beautiful day to be outside, walk around, and enjoy the sunshine. it was nice to get outside and have a break from all of that rain!

our trip came to an end on sunday, when we had to head back home [insert huge sad face]. however, we did not leave wilmington without stopping at capriotti's. i mean, we just [had] to get a sub for the road. and it was totally worth it. 

we always hate for vacation to end, but it sure was nice to sleep in our own bed last night.

i hope everyone else had just as nice of a holiday weekend as we did!

xoxo,

ks