HB2: the post i didn't want to write

i wasn't going to write anything about this. because i have said and posted enough already. but, if everything doesn't already bother me about HB2, there is an issue that hasn't been discussed much.

the women's bathroom.

HANG ON. i know what you are going to say: "we've heard enough about the women's bathroom!"
you've heard how this law keeps psychos out, right? it keeps predators out of your bathroom. it keeps women and children safe. RIGHT?

does HB2 really do that? is that even the point of the law - bathrooms?

this place has always caused me a bit of hesitation upon entering. especially the bigger ones that have stood empty for awhile (i’m talking about you, rest stops and public parks). as a woman, i don’t know who may linger behind those doors. i’ve always been cautious and on alert while in public bathrooms. who could be in here? a woman. a sexual predator. a criminal wanting to steal my things. children. teenage girls. an assailant.

i think about how i would respond if someone tried to attack me. scream. run. kick. punch. what if i was trapped in the stall? would i have to fight for my life? more often than not, keith is with me at these public places. thankfully, if things went wrong he’d be there to help. he’d notice if i was in the bathroom for too long.
that makes me feel better, a bit safer. but should it have to be that way? should i require my husband to be with me to feel safe?

the point is, i never know who is in the bathroom when i enter. it’s a bit unnerving. however, i will say, i have yet to encounter a male in a woman’s bathroom. and i have been in plenty of public bathrooms.

i will also say that that HB2 hasn’t changed or protected women and children anymore than before this horrible law went into effect. it is unenforceable, you know. the way i felt yesterday walking into this large empty bathroom was the same as i always have felt. a bit unhinged. because a criminal will break the law, no matter how it is written. that is why they are criminals, they do not care about the laws. it's cute that mccrory attempted to make HB2 about the safety of women and children when that part of the law no one can enforce. and those who want to commit crimes in bathrooms, will keep doing it, just as they always have.
and that is what i think has gotten lost in all of this - the law cannot be enforced thus the bathrooms are just as safe [or unsafe] as they have always been.

HB2 is far more than just bathrooms. in fact, the bathrooms are just smoke, a distraction from all of the far more atrocious things this sweeping law contains. if you haven’t read the bill, i encourage you to do so. because the other pieces of this law, minimum wage and discrimination lawsuits, those things the government can enforce. and they do and will affect you [more than the bathroom law ever will]. oh, and the executive order mccrory signed, didn’t change much regarding HB2. you can read it if you want. it’s truly not that important. just more smoke.

at the end of the day, HB2, has done [and will continue to do] so much damage to our state. all at the expense of our LGBTQ community. having a governmental power that will past their agenda into law, without citizen input and at the expense and discrimination of others is cowardly. it is disgusting. and unfortunately, happens too often.

our state is hurting financially. our reputation is tarnished. people don’t want to come here. the only way to fix this is to repeal HB2. nothing good has come from it. nothing.

#WEARENOTTHIS

xoxo,
ks

BALTIMORE

baltimore.

i almost don't want to write about baltimore. i almost want to wait until emotions, fires, and violence simmer down before i share mine. why stir the pot?

but after reading articles about the pure madness that has encapuslated that city, i want to make my voice heard too.
my goal is not create more anger. if i do, then i have not served my purpose. i have not met my end goal.

the riots in baltimore begin on the day of the funeral for freddie gray. prior to freddie's funeral there were protests surrounding the cause of his arrest and death. 
there have been numerous men shot and killed by police. there have been numerous criminals killed because they were running from police officers. there have also been numerous police officers who have used excessive force on criminals.

the public issue comes down to discrimination and racial injustice. i get that and understand it. what i do not understand how rioting in YOUR OWN COMMUNITY is a productive means to an end.
many of the rioters are upset. mad. angry. they want change. they want their voices to be heard. they want to be treated fairly.

WE ALL DO.

we all deserve, no matter how different we are from each other, basic civil rights. by definition a civil right is an enforceable right or privilege, which if interfered with by another gives rise to an action for injury. examples of civil rights are freedom of speech, press, and assembly; the right to vote; freedom from involuntary servitude; and the right to equality in public places [cite: cornell law school].

however, we all face discrimination or injustice, whether it be racial, social, gender, and/or sexual. it is a way of life. many say it shouldn't be, but it always has been and probably always will be. we are not all created equal. we just aren't. we are not meant to be. it wouldn't make sense if all people were exactly the same and came from the same places. the same hair, build, height, brilliance, had the same health status, eye color, and the same family.

[survival of the fittest]

how can we navigate this social world with all of our vast social, race, sexual....differences? we must teach our children [and each other] compassion, kindness, acceptance and tolerance. we are meant to look different, talk different, and come from different cultures.

if we continue to breed hate and fight against our natural differences, we will never be able to come together to give everyone equal and basic civil rights. 

burning down your own community out of anger, frustration, or perceived injustice is no way to solve the problem. stealing from your neighbor isn't going to resolve the issue. injuring those whose job it is to protect and serve your community isn't going to keep you safe. i know that i will never fully understand the "mob mentality" and what makes individuals decide riots are the answer. i just can't wrap my head around what the end goal is to a riot, street violence, and structure fires.

WHY?

what do you hope to achieve? someone has to come out on top.

in every case of riots, it is not the rioters.

so again....WHY?

if it is nothing else other than to be heard, WHY?

the violence in ferguson and baltimore disgust me. i am hurt, saddened, and angered by it. i have so many things that i wish my voice was heard about. do i burn my house [or worse, someone else's house] down because of it? NO. do i throw bricks at the people who are there to protect me? HELL NO. [in most cases, you go to jail if you do those things.]

in order to have your voice heard and to have meaningful change, it has to be just that. your voice and actions must be meaningful. if you throw a fit, act a fool, or throw a tantrum, no one takes your requests seriously. and a riot is basically all of those things, rolled into one and multiplied by insanity.

it's ridiculous.

i know i come from a different view point than the rioters and the subculture they live in. but i cannot sympathize with any group of people who condone violence as a way to get their message out to the world.


this song has been in my head all day. it is about the LA riots in 1992. today is the 23rd anniversary. not much has changed. from any side of the story.

(I don't know if you can, but can you get an order for Ons, that's O-N-S,
Junior Market, the address is 1934 East Anaheim, all the windows are
busted out, and it's like a free for all here,
and uh, the owner should maybe come down here and see if he can secure his business,
if he wants to)

April 26th, 1992
There was a riot on streets
Tell me where were you?
You were sittin' home watchin' your TV
While I was participating in some anarchy
First spot we hit it was my liquor store
I finally got all that alcohol I can't afford
With red lights flashin', time to retire
And then we turned that liquor store into a structure fire
Next stop we hit, it was the music shop,
It only took one brick to make the window drop
Finally we got our own P.A.
Where do you think I got this guitar that you're hearing today?

("Call fire and tell them respond local station out to meet us at Anaheim. It's uh, flaming up good." "10-4 Alamidos at Anaheim")

When we returned to the pad to unload everything
It dawned on me that I need new home furnishings
So once again we filled the van until it was full
Since that day my livin' room's been much more comfortable
'Cause everybody in the hood has had it up to here
It's getting harder, and harder, and harder each and every year
Some kids went in a store with their mother
I saw her when she came out she was gettin' some Pampers
They said it was for the black man
They said it was for the Mexican
And not for the white man
But if you look at the streets, it wasn't about Rodney King
In this fucked-up situation and these fucked-up police
It's about comin' up and stayin' on top
And screamin' 1-8-7 on a mother fuckin' cop
It's not in the paper, it's on the wall
National guard
Smoke from all around

(Units, units be advised of an attempted 211 to arrest now at 938 Temple, 9-3-8 Temple,
thirty subjects with bats trying to get inside the CP's house...he thinks out there trying to kill him)

'Cause as long as I'm alive, I'ma live illegal

Let it burn
Wanna let it burn, wanna let it burn
Wanna wanna let it burn
(I feel insanity)
Riots on the streets of Miami
Whoa, riots on the streets of Chicago
On the streets of Long Beach
In San Francisco
Riots on the streets of Kansas City
Tuskaloosa, Alabama
Cleveland, Ohio
Fountain Valley, Paramount, Victorville
Eugene, Oregon
Eureka, California
Hesperia
Santa Barbara
Winnemucca, Nevada
Phoenix, Arizona
San Diego
Lakeland, Florida
fuckin' 29 Palms

(Any unit to assist Frank-74, Willow at Caspian... structure fire and numerous subjects looting)
(10-15 to get rid of this looter)
-sublime, april 29, 1992



in my heart i know there is more we can do as a country, as states, as cities and towns, and as communities. if we want to move on from our past, we have to be willing to work together to move forward - together. we can't do this alone or individually. we must do it together. it is the only way we will be successful.


we must start with love.

it always starts with love.


xoxo,
ks


#lotsoflovetobaltimore

unconstitutional.

i am going to start this blog by stating that i will probably say some things some people won't like and i may curse, but i will try my hardest to remain objective. however at this time, i still have freedom of speech. so i am going to use it.

i am hot. red hot.

why?

because i am disgusted and disappointed in the state that i live in.

amendment one passed today. banning marriage rights from homosexuals in NC. this also impacts civil unions between same-sex couples and straight couples. meaning, it's gone.

let me tell you the story of two high school sweethearts. you know how it goes: they meet and fall in love. no one ever thought their love would stand the test of time, which we all know is high school and college. those years of raging hormones. then one day this sweet couple decides "let's get married!!"

OH WAIT. we can't. but "i love you...and you love me...so let's get married and commit our lives to each other!"

OH WAIT. we can't. but "i love you and want you to be protected just in case anything ever happens to me."

OH WAIT. we fucking can't. sorry, sorry, that isn't very objective. but that is how i would feel if i couldn't marry the person i loved most in the world. how would you feel if that RIGHT was taken away from you?

hot. red hot.

these are my thoughts on love and marriage:

last time i checked, in regards to love, you don't choose who you fall in love with. our societal "norms" have defined A LOT of who we are supposed to fall in love with for us: man and woman relationships, some one kind, some one in our social class, some one with money, blah, blah, BLAH.
but, sometimes, people break out of social norms and fall in love with an unexpected gem. someone they never thought they'd love. someone who is, in fact, soooo perfect for them.

but because they don't "fit the societal mold"....no marriage for you.

since when did the government make it's rules based on religion? marriage isn't about god or the bible or whatever religion you have faith in. marriage can be. however, in order to be legally marriage you and your partner have to have a legal ceremony performed by someone who is legally allowed to do so. and guess what? judges and magistrates and perform marriage ceremonies too. and i guarantee you ceremonies performed by them have NOTHING to do with religion.
i have a perfect example: keith and i are legally married. and there was nothing religious about our ceremony and nothing religious about our marriage. but yet, we are married. anyone gonna take that away? NOPE. would i be devastated if they could? you bet your fucking ass i would. and i would fight like hell to get it back.

and even if this issue isn't about religion, but more about "the gays". SO FUCKING WHAT? do they deserve any less human rights than a straight person? if so, why? tell me why. are they less of a person because they are gay? NO. that is the only answer to that question.

america was founded on freedom. freedom of religion, actually. this law looks a lot like christian doctrine, but whatever. having christianity in state law isn't very "freedom of religion" if you ask me.
so, if our country is based on freedom, shouldn't the basic freedom we all have be human rights? and if one group/race/ethnicity is granted a right to something, shouldn't everyone be?

why do we continue to breed hatred and discrimination? our country has been a melting pot of races/groups/ethnicities since it's very beginning. it is completely mind blowing that after 236 years we still teach each other to hate those who are different than us. OF COURSE WE ARE GOING TO BE DIFFERENT. why can't we use those differences to learn from each other. to grow and to teach each other tolerance and acceptance of others?

differences are what make america so freaking amazing. that is why people wanted to come here: freedom and a chance at success.
guess what? at the rate we are going, people are going to stop coming. and i just might follow them on their way out. 

LOVE. it is what is. no matter who it is.

xoxo,
ks